Sunday, April 18, 2010

Post Secret

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The first secret posted for today.










I'm waiting...

Monday, April 12, 2010

Stress

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I hate the feeling of stress and anxiety. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I have GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), but then sometimes I think it's just what happens when you learn about lots of different disorders, you begin to think you have them all...

School can be such a large source of stress sometimes. It doesn't help when other things add to them. I get uptight and frustrated when I'm stressed out, which leads to lashing out and becoming easily irritated. Of course this just adds to the problem.

However, the worst part of the whole thing is feeling guilty. Guilty I can't make time for you, or anyone else. But, if I can't even find time for myself...how do you expect me to find time for you? Just a thought...

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Sisterhood

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Some people say a sorority isn't worth it, but I know that's not true.

My college experience has been graced by over 50 wonderful women all whom I call great friends. They're there when you need them, and they know how to be the light at the end of a bad day.

Last night was Relay for Life. I didn't think I would be emotional, I figured it'd be a night of walking, fun, laughs, and good times. I was reminded of the impact of cancer however during the survivor lap and Luminaria ceremony as I thought of my uncle, Edward Hughes Sr. After a rough day of stress, my mind was not ready for the emotional impact that this brought. My sisters offered a shoulder to cry on, literally, and a hug to console me. I ended up having a great evening, even after such a stressful day.

You may not always realize the impact of sisterhood, but when you have a bad day you remember why you're there. Sisters are there through good and bad. They're there to dry your tears and comfort you, but they're also there to laugh till you cry and get into crazy adventures with.



Delta Zeta

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Friendships

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Over the years, friends will come and go. You'll leave old ones behind as new ones come into your life.

I've realized this is a reoccurring theme in my life, and sometimes it saddens me. Part of it is my fault, but I feel like I can't always take the blame. I've moved throughout my life, most before the age of 12. But I realized this alone has had its impact. I can remember friends from when I was only 5 who stayed around for a few years, even after countless moves on both parts. But, eventually distance takes its toll as well as lack of communication. In one way, I'm happy for the increase use of cell phones, the domination of Facebook, and countless other networking tools.

About two months ago my "best friend" from 2nd and 3rd grade found me on Facebook. We exchanged a few messages, reminisced and that was it. Mainly because I realized that they road her life had taken was so far from mine. Me, I'm 500 miles away at a great university hoping to attend an even better grad school in 2 years. Her, she spends her time making illegal movie copies with her boyfriend and is "thinking" about going to college. Not that I'm dissing her way of life, but it was apparent to me she wasn't someone I cared to have in my life anymore.

I've realized in most cases the reason I've left friends behind is because of my ambitions, which is great. School has also lent a hand in my lost friendships. No longer seeing the same people every day means you no longer care to reach out. Or sometimes, you do try to reach out only to be shot down. Sometimes there are relationships I miss, or wish had grown stronger.

In the scheme of things, I try not to regret the friendships lost. In years to come they may be rekindled, or at least contact will be made on some accounts. However, I'm proud of who I'm becoming without those people. And I'm proud of the people I currently call my friends. Most have the same ambitions and goals I do, or at least similar. I think when you reach college age that becomes important, you begin to desire friendships with those who resemble you in some ways.

I have these thoughts when I find myself bored and surfing Facebook. I see pictures and status updates of people I use to be friends with. People I spent hours with, eating lunch together at school, and just hanging out. I realize that some people I miss that connection with, others I find that I'm surprised at what they're doing with their life (good or bad).

Sometimes I wish rekindling friendships was as easy as "Hey, remember that time we..." But I know it's not that easy. Which is why I enjoy the friendships I do have, and try not to think about the ones lost.